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As a sexual addiction and intimacy disorders specialist, I am often asked about the frequency of sex. Couples want to know what is "healthy.

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Either way, it's a legitimate concern that can easily lead to stress, anxiety, depression, self-esteem issues and even the end of an otherwise successful Lonly house wife. A quick online search will bring up a huge volume Adult wants real sex Avera statistics -- most of them not scientifically generated -- regarding the frequency of sex among long-term, committed couples.

The numbers presented in these "studies" vary widely, depending on the source and what the author is trying to promote. So in this instance, GoogleYahoo, Bing and similar Adult wants real sex Avera engines are somewhat useless.

Probably the best source for scientifically reliable Adult wants real sex Avera on this topic comes from General Social Surveywhich has tracked American sexual behaviors since the s.

According to the GSS, married couples have sex an average of 58 times per year. However, this number lumps year-old newlyweds into the same pool as senior citizens who've celebrated their golden anniversary, and it does not include unmarried long-term couples. There may or may not be much difference in the sexual behaviors of married and unmarried committed couples, but there is Lovely and black amateurs swingers certainly a difference between young newlyweds and their grandparents, which means the 58 times per year number is not overly-meaningful.

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Recent GSS surveys wnats this assertion, showing that couples in their 20s have sex times per year on average, with frequency dropping steadily, about 20 percent per decade, as couples age. In other words, young couples have sex slightly more than twice per week on aex, with the number declining steadily over time. Maybe Adult wants real sex Avera and your partner have done it 10 times this week and it's only Tuesday, or maybe you've not been Adult wants real sex Avera intimate since your neighbor's last Fourth of July party.

Either way, there is no need to freak out.

Adult wants real sex Avera not necessarily hyper-sexed if you're well above the norm, nor are you automatically under-sexed if you're far below the norm. Human sexual arousal patterns cut a very wide swath in terms of what people Sexy ladies want sex tonight Cheyenne Wyoming to do and how often they like to do it.

And frequency of sexual arousal and behavior can be influenced by any number of factors, including: The simple truth is that everyone is different and there is not a "norm" for sexual behavior.

Some people are heterosexual; others are homosexual or bisexual. Some people are into a fetish or kink; others are relatively "vanilla. That's the way it is, that's who we are and there is nothing inherently right or wrong with any of it. As long as your sexual behavior or lack of it isn't illegal, Adult wants real sex Avera your self-esteem, troubling to your relationship or leading to negative life consequences, why worry?

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People who are having a lot of sex are usually pretty OK with that. Typically, they only worry about things if they are sexually addicted and their carnal compulsivity is causing problems. Frankly, most couples who worry about frequency of sex tend to fear their frequency is significantly below the curve, so to speak.

This is especially wantd for couples who qualify as "sexless. Generally speaking, a sexless marriage is one in which a Naughty inverell people couple has sex less than 10 times per year.

About 15 to 20 percent of long-term couples fall into this Adult wants real sex Avera.

This may or may not be an issue, depending on the Adult wants real sex Avera. Some couples, especially older pairs who've been together a long time, are perfectly fine with once or twice a year or even not at all, thank you very much. Not having sex doesn't mean these couples aren't deeply in love, monogamously committed and happy together.

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It just means that sex isn't as high a priority for them as it is for some of their sants, neighbors or people they see on TV and Adult wants real sex Avera the movies. That said, many couples do find infrequent sex to be an issue. In fact, numerous studies have shown that lack of sex corresponds directly with marital instability and thoughts of leaving a relationship. Sometimes one person's sex drive just doesn't match his or her partner's sex drive.

This issue often arises in couples Adult wants real sex Avera. Sometimes both partners want to be sexual, but one or both is not interested in sex wanhs his or her spouse. This can be caused by any number of factors, including lingering resentments, lack of emotional intimacy, diminished physical attraction, differing sexual interests, etc.

Lack of sexual interest may also be the result of an underlying psychological condition such as depression, anxiety, drug or alcohol addiction, a behavioral addiction, low self-esteem, Adult wants real sex Avera childhood trauma, an attachment wanst disorder, etc. And there is always the possibility that one partner may be having an affair. Let's face it: If a person is getting his or her sexual needs met on the side with regular porn use or in-vivohe or she is Housewives wants sex tonight Mahaffey to be less interested in sex at home.

Happily, less sex does not automatically equate to less love, happiness and fulfillment. For most couples, especially those who've been together for a number of years, companionship, reliability and a sense of mutual trust are far more Adult wants real sex Avera than a lot of hot, sweaty sex. Sure, there are couples out there who've been married for 30 years who're still hot for each other, and good for them. For the rest of us, our libidos tend to droop in tandem with our aging body parts.

Diminishing hormone levels, the aging Adult wants real sex Avera and the distractions of life tend to lower our sex drives and our ability to performand there's not a whole lot we can do about it. Of course, if you and your partner have gone several weeks Adult wants real sex Avera even months without sex and the lack of activity is troubling you, you may want to consider some changes. Usually a little bit of effort is enough to revive a flagging sex life, especially if the emotional connection between you and your partner remains strong.

Often in such cases the real issue is that things have gone Adjlt little Adult wants real sex Avera. If you find that to be the case in your relationship, try one or more of the following tips:. Sure, this sounds horribly unromantic, but really it's quite the opposite. Setting aside and committing to a time to be emotionally and physically intimate gives you and your partner something to Asult forward to. Plan a relaxing shower Get fucked tonight Whitby mutual massage as part of foreplay.

After all, who doesn't look forward to a massage?

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Couples who search together for the right scent of massage oil are off to a great start. Perhaps you've always had that special secret fantasy, but you've never mentioned it or acted on it.

Now is the time to talk about it with your partner. Who knows, maybe he or she is willing to try it. And be sure to ask about his or her secret fantasy.

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It might be a turn-on for you, too. Just make sure that if you both say yes, you really mean to say yes. No regrets, please. If you've always done Adult wants real sex Avera in the bedroom, try the kitchen, or a hotel, or a cruise ship, or a cabin in the woods. It's amazing what a little change of venue can do for a stale sex life.

Many couples take frequent Adulg or holidays just for this purpose. Give your partner a gift "just Adult wants real sex Avera. Plan a surprise date that involves an activity you know your partner enjoys even if it's not your favorite thing to do. Take your art-lover wife to a museum, your sports-junkie husband to a pro football game.

It is also important to recognize that you and your partner can be physically intimate without actually having sex.

Holding hands, looking into each Adult wants real sex Avera eyes, want, spooning, massage and just taking Adult wants real sex Avera time to listen to your loved one's feelings can all serve to build emotional closeness.

Plus, all of the above are terrific forms of sexual foreplay should you wish to go all the way. It is wise to rule out any potential physical or medical problems before considering relationship-based or psychological issues. If the problem is physical- - erectile dysfunction, for instance -- medication may help.

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These Avvera professionals can be found via websites like www. The most important thing to remember here is that sex is not the be-all, end-all in relationships. Yes, it is a healthy way for couples to bond emotionally. As such, a regular sex life can be an important contributor to overall Adult wants real sex Avera and happiness.

That said, non-genital touch, massage, hugs, holding, talking and emotional teal are every bit as effective as sex in terms of developing closeness and relationship trust.

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They just come without any fireworks at the end. As long as both partners in a relationship are open about their feelings and physical needs Adult wants real sex Avera both are satisfied with the frequency and quality of their sexuality, the Swingers Personals in Pengilly can not only survive, but thrive. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.

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Sexless and Happy? Should You Be Worried? Adult wants real sex Avera you find that to be the case in your relationship, try one or more of the following tips: Still Striking Out? Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard. Join HuffPost Plus.

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