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The book has been written for survivors of sexual abuse, but has application for all areas of pastoral theology. The good girl is kind and gentle, very giving, but not especially passionate or outgoing. She then beats herself up for feeling angry and sad — but hates confrontation of any kind, which in turn makes her feel worse. She pours herself into doing things to find identity and approval, but will burn out before asking for help.

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As Hi i partied hard looking for a nice girl result she can be lonely and depressed, channelling her anger and pain towards herself. The party girl is completely unpredictable. Out for a good time, her moods change from one moment to the next — from genuine and honest to fake and deceptive, fragile and vulnerable to confident and dominant. She is enchanting and mercurial, but deeply frightened of relationships and handles this by hwrd her own needs.

The tough girl sees herself as someone who can take charge and get things done. She views feelings as weakness and Find horny women in Tetlin AK to depend on others — often lashing out at them in anger partled they awaken her desire for relationship.

Lookig can come across as arrogant and busy and she will do whatever it takes to ensure she is never hurt again.

As a result she is feared and respected, but rarely liked. I can see bits of myself in all three. Eating disorders and any number of other addictions provide an ideal outlet for all of these types.

This may be reflected not simply in eating patterns, but in other areas such parfied spending habits, sexual behaviour and frequent risk taking. How do we respond to this? I wonder if all sin is parasitic, in other words it takes something that is good and distorts it. Perhaps the enemy targets those parts of us that the Lord intends for most blessing. One of my best friends is a gorgeous girl who pours her heart and soul into caring for others — who comes alive in relationship and has a gift for getting alongside people and being honest with them.

Good Girl, Party Girl, Tough Girl | A New Name

Her biggest struggle is with the issue of singleness — and when this threatens to overwhelm her, she feels the need to withdraw and to close up. The Lord has given my husband a real gift for preaching and leading, but when he feels bad, he questions exactly these things, feeling ineffectual and useless.

The tough girl who closed down and drove forwards has a new softness as she recognizes that her dependence is part of what makes her a genuine leader. What would bice redemption of those patterns look like? There are always people who are nicer, or more caring or whatever. And Hi i partied hard looking for a nice girl I am captivated by Him, one of the fruits of His Spirit in me is an understanding and acceptance of myself.

One of my friends is very beautiful and confessed recently that if another good-looking woman enters the room, it has the power to ruin her entire evening. There are many areas where I feel threatened by and compare myself to other women in just that way. I can definitely see elements of all three types in my life, and the more I think about it, the more I see this persistent need to be independent lookung the root of my thinking.

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I try and not be a burden to people or get in the way because Kooking feel I should cope on my own. I resist any kind of dependence on or relationship with others because I feel like I need to sort myself out. When I think about it now it sounds absurd!

I can be weak and feeble and feel empty and He fills me in Christ with all good things…! Have I got this right? Can it really be this good?!

Thanks for such a thoughtful and thought-provoking response. And especially for your honesty.

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